Monday, February 26, 2007

Chapter Six: Rag Week

This blog isn't for everything. It's not for day dreams, or song lyrics. It's not for poetry (and oh yes, there has been poetry). It's not for deep, troubled introspection, not that I have much depth to trouble. It's for that reason, the exclusivity of this blog, that certain adventures get omitted. For that reason, this entry could read thusly:

"Once again, I got sick. This time, it was a rather crippling case of stomach flu that kept me in cold sweats and time trials to and from the bathroom. Now I am well, except for a sore throat and swollen lymph glands."

But that wouldn't be honest; it wouldn't be fair. There are aspects of life here that can't be brushed under the rug just because you're uncomfortable with our liberated European ways. I can't, in good conscious, ignore my Irish heritage just because of what you may think; judge me if you must, but know that you judge a glorious culture, with a glorious tradition.

"Collin", you say, "To what tradition do you refer?"

The tradition I refer to is called Ragweek, and is a right of passage for all Irish students. The goal is nothing more or less then to be drunk. For a week. Dawn to Dusk.

Let me tell you right now that I couldn't do it; the onslaught of the aforementioned stomach flu, yes, but I really haven't been drinking all that much, at least not to excess. 3 or 4 nights at the pub a week, and then it's only 3 or 4 pints, maybe; with Guiness like a meal, we're talking buzzed, at best. To be drunk for the amount of time Ragweek demands is not only financially infeasable, but a horrible health risk. But perhaps I should just tell my story.

Part of the fun of Ragweek is that almost every student does it; thus, the professors know that their classes are going to be empty, and having Ragweeked themselves in their youth, don't want to harsh anyone's buzz. So classes are basically canceled for a week. Thus, come Monday, Pat and I feel totally fine about tipping afew cold ones back at noon and keeping it up through the early evening. Slowly, his few Irish roommates become more and more, and soon we have 9 guys in his house. Now, we're buzzed, but they're hammered, and have been that way for hours. Two guys get into a fight in the hall over a vacuum; i think I saw another guy's junk. The point is, it's a good time. They all head out, but Pat and I want pizza.


We hunt pizza. We hunt pizza girl. Pizza girl offers us Garlic Sauce for our pies; the guys know what that means, but for the ladies, when a cute girl offers you anything, anything at all, you say yes. Pat and I consume our garlicky delicious pizza's, quite happily, and head off to a pub. And head back home. Our tummy's weren't feeling good. I crash on Pat's floor. Perhaps it was the fact that we each ate 16 inch pizza's; maybe it was the 12 hours of casual drinking; my bet is that the Garlick sauce was probably left out all day (just like all creamer, grossly enough). Regardless, Pat and I moan and groan out of both ends for almost an hour before we fall asleep. Until 2; that's when his roommates get home. Remember that they've been not just drinking, but tanked, for almost 18 hours; the first thing we hear is a chair being thrown down the hall, later, we hear breaking glass. They commence running around the house for the next 4 hours, until they all black out or combust around 6.

When we wake up, this is what we find. Just take these in for a minute.





That's a chair that was lit on fire. The bottles were just hurled against the wall with Nirvana fueled abandon. Someone peed on a chair. Plainly put, Irish youth are like animals. And their capacity to drink has been, if anything, underrated. It's like they've been bred to drink, like it's their genetic imperative; it's as if God Himself hid these people away on an island far from anything, specifically so that he could one day go drinking at a pub where everyone could match him shot for shot. Animals.

Tuesday sucked. My Ragweek was already blown, because I couldn't imagine touching a beer, let alone going out. I stayed in, napped, and eventually went to Mel and Elizabeth's (from Belfast), where Mel made us Jumbalya. My mouth had forgotten what spicy tasted like. Note to all Californians: When I get back, the name of the game is Burritos, the bigger the better. Then i went home and watched Firefly with my flatmates. That night, my stomach cramped up again, this time i think from my trip to flavor country.

Wednesday seems to have escaped me. I'm sure this is do to a complete dearth of interest, rather then the onset of dementia or abuse of the drink. We might have something with that dementia idea, actually...

Thursday, feeling better, I bought a bottle of a Tonic Wine called Buckfast; made by monks, it's this syrupy sweet wine that's beloved by the Irish for it's inebriative qualities. Pat and I began early (by American standards; the Irish were already drunk), and at about half a bottle i was close to smashing it against my own head. We went bowling, which was fun, and at that point i'm feeling pretty lousy, a mix of booze and some kind of demon that had apparently begun to incubate in my small intestines. As we left, i stole my bowling shoes. I'm not proud of it, but i've always wanted a pair of bowling shoes, and i'm trying to be more impulsive. Also, the demon may have been influencing me.

Then, for the next two days, i did time trials... ah yes, we're caught up.

I just wrote an essay for my History of Two Irelands in the 20th Century class, 4 pages. It was the first work i've done all semester. I almost enjoyed it. Almost.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Chapter Five: Dungeons and Dublin


I told myself that I wouldn't post again until I could do it from my own computer. Well, between this, that and the other (read: 800 euro importation tax, refundable when I leave) it's taken me awhile to get it. Then, when it was gotten, I was forced (forced I tells ya!) to catch up on all the television I'd missed. Mission accomplished. And now I'm here.


Lets take a trip back to a few weekends ago, to my Castles fieldtrip. Now, to understand the fieldtrip, you must understand the man behind the fieldtrip; Keiren O'Conner. The very image of the absentminded professor, he is, in fact, the direct descendant of of the last High King of Ireland. He goes home to his own castle in Co. Mayo, and refuses to excavate certain castle sites because they were once owned by his family. We think that on weekends he paints himself with Woad and single handily defends Ireland's shores. Anyway.

The first castle we tried to get to was blocked off, due to rally car races; if any of us weren't such huge nerds, we would have known that. The second castle we couldn't get into, due to the caretaker's mother having just died. But the third castle...

...or "Towerhouse" (twelfth century), was totally awesome. Its seems so simple, just two stories and a roof, with various arrow loops and murder holes, but it was just grand. We all decided that we must have one.



The fourth castle, funny story, I'd actually been too on my last trip to Ireland. However, I'd had to keep a respectful distance, due to the imposing barbed wire fence. Not so Keiren. He just found us a section to hop over, and away we went. Conamara Castle, circa 11th century I believe, is little more then a ruin now, but you can see from the earthworks how massive it must have been. You're an invading barbarian, and you have to run up a 40 foot hill, only to be faced with a 20 foot wooden wall at the top, archers raining arrows down the whole time? Tough gig.

Now, Pat and I had wanted to go to Dublin that weekend, to see a cool concert (The Decemberists) and visit his friends. But we also didn't want to miss the field trip. So, after Conamara, Keiren had his lead TA drive us to the nearest train station. How great is that? He was really concerned that we'd miss our train too, hurrying everyone along, just adorable.

Dublin was much bigger then I'd remembered. Its still rather tasteless, but it's just huge. Funny tangent; the house doors are all painted different colors. This is so that when the Husbands come home blind drunk, they can just tell the taxi, 'Blue door... blue dwarrr....". Good system.


The concert was pretty great; i missed alittle, but it was still worth it. Then we met up with Pat's Dublin friends, friend's from high school actually, and we went to a good old American house party. And then walked 4 miles to their house, because they were too bleary to remember how to get there faster. All the while carrying Pat's friend, who had just been dumped. But I was feeling no pain, so all's well, right?

The floor i slept on was heated. They had heated walls. It was the polar opposite of my own place (which i'm actually doing better with, thanks).

Dublin wasn't really much new for me, having seen the three interesting things before. Book of Kells (oldest complete Bible, fully illustrated), Old Post Office (home of the 1916 rebellion) big Needle thing in town (Why a 100 meter tall spike in the center of your downtown? Who knows...) St. Stephan's green (park) and the world's greatest slide guitarist, who was just on the street and blew our minds for almost 40 minutes. On the train back, we stocked up on chips and beer and Pat taught me to play Texas Hold-um.

Flash forward: Last night. James (different James) and I went to see another of my professors sing tradition Irish folk songs in a pub. It was very soothing. Mom, if you had been there, you would have jumped up and joined in, I'm sure, and for once it would have been completely appropriate. Then we went and got beers bigger then my head.